Short jokes
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Sue-icide squad.
Snap chat: Aaron10128
Nut
One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
How cool is NASA?
Not cool at all.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
Just.
Old.
Killer.
Epigrams.
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!