Short jokes
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.
He's now my sister.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.
I don't want to date an alien.
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is!
What is a difference between a tree? Tree 🌲 was the day you get.