Short jokes
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."
How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
You are the joke.
Your family.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
God.
Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."