Short jokes
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow. There is no food, and the drinks are 10 miles away!
Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?
Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".
What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?
9/11.
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
LEZZZZZZ GOOOOO! 69 FOLLOWERS!
Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?
Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?
Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?
France: Want a baguette?
USSR: Help!
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
What is a testicle's favorite book?
Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).