Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Short Jokes
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
How does he go for a poo? He logs out.
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
Girls are whores.
Uranus spins on its side.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
My life.
Kill me, please.
I fell down yesterday.
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.