If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Short Jokes
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
