Short jokes
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
I don't think jokes are very funny.
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
Yo momma so stupid, she wrote this joke!
"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."
You
You
You're the cow.