Short jokes
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Russia.
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚