Short jokes
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.