Short jokes
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?
His Boba Pet.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
Addison Banks age (8).
Addison Banks age (21).
Addison Banks age (69).
BLAH.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Ii.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm!
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.