Short jokes
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
Why did the rapper visit the bank?
To get his RHYME CHECK.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Why did Elsa's dog run away?
Because she let it go!
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
Beach whales.
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
Top ten dog breeds:
10. Dogs
9. Are
8. Beautiful
7. Animals
6. And
5. Judgement
3. Is
2. Cruel
1. Dachshund
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?
He was all right.
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
Today I heard someone playing "Dancing Queen" on the didgeridoo.
It was very Abba-riginal.