Short jokes
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.