Short jokes
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Russia.
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."