Short jokes
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.