Short jokes
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?
Professor Poopypants!!!
Uranus has a lot of poop. Yeah. That is my joke.
Zozo laughed at his wife for her husband being a hobo.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
What is the difference between a human being in the car?
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.