Short jokes
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
When you breathe.
What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoît B. Mandelbrot.
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.