Short jokes
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
A gay wizard went to a bar and disappeared with a poof!
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.