Short jokes

What is a dog?

A pet.

Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.

What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?

Cauliflower!

Pee.

Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

Mom: Shit, I don't know...

Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Dad: That's my boy's!!!

Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.

What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?

Oooooooooh girl, you lion!

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?

The nun has a soul full of hope...

I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?

My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Shin-gles!

What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?

Hamburg-ER.

Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?

IHOP

What is Ba + 2Na?

Ans. Banana.

What do you call a person with only one arm?

Half-assed.