Short jokes

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Uranus has a lot of poop. Yeah. That is my joke.

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.

NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.

Why do mummies have trouble making friends?

What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?

...Ollie the clown!

What does the Titanic sell most?

Icebreakers.

What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.

HOLY CRAP!!!

Crap with holes in it.

Get it? HOLE - Y?

Professor Poopypants!!!

So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?

I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.

What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?

They both hit me face down on the table.

The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.

The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?

What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.

What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.

I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.