Short jokes
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
Give me the most likes on this site.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
Black people run fast.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
Did you know, the average gay person likes men?
Post your jokes in the comments below!
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.