Short jokes
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
What is the best way to run away from home?
Join the military.
"Know, know how there."
"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"