Short jokes
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
I ate Nemo.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
I hop on Clash Royale. I see Mega Knight. I cry.
Like if you hate the Mega Knight from Clash Royale because I really, really hate it so much!
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
What do you call a YouTuber? A virgin.
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.