Short jokes
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?
The Enderman.
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?
Lil Plant
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get a fresh set of GRILLZ.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
Why don't rappers ever make good chefs?
Because they always drop the beet!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to drop some DEEP SEA RHYMES.
What did the rapper say to the fridge?
"Give me a BEET!"
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he had great FLOW-CULUS skills!