Short jokes
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
People generalize others too much.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
What do you call roller skates you can walk in?
"Wock n' roll."
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
What is you you?
Spaghetti-ashannaise
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!