Short jokes
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Emo
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Trump's coming back.
Yes, yes~.
Trump's coming back!
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!