Short jokes
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
Uranus is cold.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
what is the fastest country? iran.
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
Looks like he never charged up fully.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.
–Pluto.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
What do you call an expert fisherman? A "MASTER-BAITER".