Short jokes
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.