Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Short Jokes
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
