Short jokes
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
BLM.
Biden Loves Bisexuality.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.