Short jokes
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Click the 👍 if you hate school.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.