Short jokes

Why is Bill the bad guy?

Monica wanted to suck dick.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.

Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?

They all produce horrible shit.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!

I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.

Unleash the jokers...👍

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.

My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!