Short jokes
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)
Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
The thing my mom birthed.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
Daday, chill, piss. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh