What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Short Jokes
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Dodo.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.
Jnnnnnnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjooooooojjkk.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
