Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?
Short Jokes
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
Had to go to the barbers just to get your hairline sorted.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
Scammers got relegated! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Goliath.
Goliath who?
I need to Goliath down and sleep!
