Short jokes
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Hi sisisissisisisisisis.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"
went (DYM 134).
rocked (DYM 136)
Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?
A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
Grass for lash.
What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.
Leo be like: "I like men, yes."
Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?
He ended with a Black Handed bang.
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.