Short jokes

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.

You pecan do it!

What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?

Yo wsp?

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.

Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.

Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?

Josef Vasicek.

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

Why don't cows make good policemen?

Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”