Short jokes
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
What is Godzilla’s least favorite ball?
A King Kong ball.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...