Short jokes
300? You are a 3.0.
Back bent.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
Hope this is good!
Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
QoS.
QoS who?
QoS there me me who me and you.
Ahhhhh shit! IT’S HUNTING SEASON y’all!
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
I want to cream, rn.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.