Short jokes
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
You look easy to draw.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Hoi!
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.
I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
Make like your hairline and scram!
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.