Short jokes
What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!