Short jokes
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
I woke up in my bed today.
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.
Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?
Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.