Short jokes
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
Your mum eats cabbage.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
Ily.
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.