Short jokes
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
Why drink water and not bleach?
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.