Short jokes
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
khi beats his meat to weed- germiah.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.