I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
Short Jokes
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?
Bumpkin boy.
Yo momma so fat not even Dora could explore her.
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Fard.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.
Your mom uses the equator as a belt.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is the worst player in basketball? LeBron James.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
