Short jokes
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Your hairline couldn't be seen even if it was glowing.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.
Silly joke! Where’s my natcho? You have it :excuse me it’s nacho cheese 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?
She couldn't find the 11.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."