What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
Short Jokes
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
Rory Burrows is dyslexic.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
