Short jokes
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
The teacher is asking you a question.
Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"
Me: "Dead."
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.