Short jokes
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What do gay men like cocks?
š¦š¦š¦ they like the cream filling š
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
I would tell a scoliosis joke.
But that would be completely out of line.
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.