You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
Short Jokes
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
Coooper
