Short jokes
Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?
A: Jujubes.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers? The Tower of Pisa is more flexible.
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop.
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
Kms.
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?
Rainbow Road.