Short jokes
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
What did one ballsack say to another?
"You stay here, I'll go pee."
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.