Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Short Jokes
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
asdf.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
Daryll
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?
Because they keepped.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
