Short jokes

When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!

Two planes crashed into two separate towers.

Now two towers crash into two separate planes.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?

Two Timetravers walk into a bar...

...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."

Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?

A: No, what happened?

Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

I am a motherfucker.

Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?

A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?

I sat on a chair.

Welcome to youtube.com.

Where we treat our patients nicely.

Hi.

"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"

My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.

What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?

You get salmonella.

Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?

A: He doesn't have the guts for it.

I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!