Short jokes
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Friend: What fly's and cry's?
You: A cloud.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
You add words = bullshit.
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
Why can't the T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct!
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.