Short jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
din mamma
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
What did you call a school that got blown up?