Short jokes

Short jokes

Divorce

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

Dad

Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.

Basement

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Kid

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Basement

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

Brother

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

Librarian

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.