Short jokes
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
What's green and sticky?
... A stick.
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.
I always press the stop button to see you.
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
Viggie tickles.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.