Short jokes
Q: What is a box's favorite sport?
A: Box-ketball.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell a brat.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
Make America Great Britain again!
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
What is an orphan's favorite TV show?
"Alone."
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Why did Dan the orphan go to the orphanage?
Because he was! I couldn't make the homepage website!!
I don't trust trees...they look shady.
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!