Short jokes
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
"Get off your computer, Jessie Jex."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.
Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
Most of us have been somewhere Stephen Hawking hasn’t: Upstairs.
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!