Short jokes
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
What do robots 🤖 shave with?
Laser blades!
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
Mommy?
You're an alcoholic!
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
Is George gay...? Stephen Hawking approves.
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
Who is king of the pencils?
The ruler!
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.