Short jokes
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
An obese kid farts.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.