Short jokes
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.
Ahmed is "bombuni guisisni" and Marcus is "bombardilo crocodilo" because Ahmed was late to the plane party and Marcus was first.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?