Short jokes
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
Gvido gubis.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.