Short jokes

Short jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?

Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.

Fighter Jet

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.

Permission

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

Emo

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Telescope

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

Slave

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

Piracy

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

People

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

Blanket

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Momma

Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!

Auntie

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

Shape

What do a circle and a sphere have in common?

They're round, and round is a shape.