On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Short Jokes
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Eli is hot.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Johnny.
Johnny who?
Johnny want yo' mommy.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
