Short jokes
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
I was just fine being bisexual... Now I’m gender fluid... great...
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.