Arrogance jokes

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.

Why does the sky think it's so powerful?

Because it's always looking down on us.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

I am awesome, look at me!

No one is smart. I am smart.

I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.