Short jokes
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
All the jokes on this website are terrarible.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
I drew a picture of Colby.
Too bad it got ripped up 😢
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?