Short jokes
Hey Qwen, it's me.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
I'm weird.
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,
Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.
Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?
Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
You should always be happy about family and love.
A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?