Short jokes
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.