Short jokes

Short jokes

Cancer

Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

Penis

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

Orphanage

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

Song

My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.

Mama

Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!

Butter

Did you hear the rumors about butter?

Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.

Orphan

What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?

They said, "Allahu Akbar."

Sister

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

Comma

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Uranus

How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?

By the rings around it.

Mushroom

Why did the mushroom kill himself?

Because he had a mushy life.

My peepee small.

Tack

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.