Short jokes
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
We should stop the orphan jokes. The parents will get mad.
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
Princess Peach is a BUM!
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!