Short jokes
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Kollaps
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?