Short jokes
Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
We should stop the orphan jokes. The parents will get mad.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.