Short jokes
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Robert Ryall
My dick is longer than your life.
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
Why did 1 break the door open? Because 2, 3, 4.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
Hey, can you hold this for a second?
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
Bird Box.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.