Short jokes
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
What's bad? A nut allergy.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
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I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.