Short jokes
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
"Maga be like Antifa invaded Ukraine, but I thought Antifa was Russia, you dumb Maga chuds!"
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
(Girl) Do you ever blink?
(Doll) (No reply).
(Girl) You look like a mannequin!
(Doll) (No reply).
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
No one is smart. I am smart.
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"