Short jokes
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!