Short jokes

Short jokes

Fruit

What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?

I don't eat the fruit.

Sex

Jack: Hey Josh!

Josh: What?

Jack: Sex!

Josh: Huh?

Jack: SEX!!

Josh: I don't get it.

Jack: Exactly ;)

Dick

Question: Do you know who Candis is?

Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?

Beef

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

Girlfriend

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

Math

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Cookie

How do you make Alabama cookies?

Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.

Friend

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

Love

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.