Short jokes
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
Time to play guitar!
*absolutely shreds*
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Politics.
I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.