Short jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
I don't get mitosis.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
What is a show for kids?
Barney.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!