Short jokes
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
The homophobes writing these jokes.
Kill yourself!
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Geology rocks!
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Swallow cum, not gum.